I feel like things are finally, wonderfully, falling into place.
I spent most of last week wrestling with whether or not to transfer to the University of Minnesota at the end of this year. I've decided to stay at UCSF. It was a hard choice - lots of factors to consider, and lots of people (chief among them Clark). I'm so thankful to my parents who are incredibly supportive of me staying in California; to my brother and my neighbors for their ridiculously generous offers regarding childcare; to the University of Minnesota for being willing to accept me as a transfer (I would have been the first one in seven years); to UCSF for being so accommodating of my needs; and to everyone who wrote to me and listened to me as I was working through this. I'm glad I put so much energy into making this decision, and I am glad it's decided and that I can start planning ahead for the first time in a long time. I am so happy that I will be staying at UCSF with my dear classmates and faculty (God willing, of course).
Scott's memorial service is also falling into place, and it's going to be beautiful. Last night I was finally able to write a first draft of what I'm going to say. I'm excited to see so many members of our community face-to-face. Our family has been experiencing a lot of love and positive energy from people over the past year and a half, spread out in time and space. It will be intense, but good, to feel that energy and love coming together next Sunday. There will be a lot of grief coming into focus as well; this will also be intense but, I believe, good.
It's been 5 weeks. I love you, Scott.