The issue of finding a new partner has been on my mind lately, the issue of whether, when, how to start dating. I feel like I'll be ready sooner rather than later. I'm hesitant to write much about it here, partly for fear of judgment - from myself and others. The flowers from Scott's memorial service haven't wilted yet. Shouldn't I still be mourning his loss? I am. I am. And I'm also looking forward, and I'm learning how to hold these things simultaneously. I wanted to mention it here in the spirit of full disclosure - this is what my grieving process looks like.
In the midst of so much thinking about past and future, I've been particularly enjoying a new "Mindfullness Bell" app that rings periodically throughout the day, to remind me to appreciate the moment. I love feeling more present, and it's amazing how quickly I've started to become more mindful at other times during the day. I'll be in the middle of something and think, I wish the bell would ring, and then realize that I don't actually need the bell in order to just pause for a moment and take everything in.