I just reread my last post (from three weeks ago, when we were coming home from Maine), and it feels like a lot has happened since then. The first week back after vacation was Intersession, the first time I'd seen all of my classmates together since April. It was emotionally chaotic for me - a lot of joy in seeing my friends again, but also a lot of grief erupting from seemingly random triggers. Our class schedule was mellow, which was good because I was emotionally pretty taxed.
Then my mom arrived and my surgery rotation started. Going into the rotation, I had a lot of fear of the unknown - you hear horror stories. But now that I'm two weeks in, I'm feeling much better. The people there are genuinely interested in helping us learn (doctors, patients, nurses, administrators), and their expectations are manageable. I fainted my first morning in the operating room and got wheeled off to the recovery room before the patient I was supposed to be helping. (I've been conscientious about hydrating since then. The hours are tough: 12+ hour days every day this week.) I really miss having breakfast with Clark - I have to leave before he wakes up - but most nights I get to have dinner with him, and then he and I go to bed at the same time: no later than 9pm. I find myself thinking about Scott often (and about his hospitalizations in particular), but there hasn't been a lot of sadness.
My mom took excellent care of Clark and I, and yesterday she flew back to Minnesota with him. He'll be there for two weeks having all kinds of adventures. (Apparently he's commented numerous times on how blue the sky is; it's been really foggy here lately.) I was sad to see him go, but I've had a pretty excellent weekend. On Saturday I meditated for the first time in weeks, played pick-up Ultimate for the first time in years, visited a friend, read a novel. Today I stayed at home all day and studied, did yoga, watched soccer, took a short hike through the woods by my apartment. I should have studied more, but it was pretty amazing to wake up and realize I could do whatever I wanted.
The last piece of news is that I passed my Step 1 Boards! My score is not competitive, but I am hugely relieved to have made the cut-off. I feel like I can finally really commit to all the plans I made the year ahead... although I still include the "God willing" addendum.